Posted by on Aug 19, 2016 in Blog | 1 comment

We are inherently conflicted

As a therapist and scholar of the Consciousness Sciences, the depth of our inherently conflicted nature and the strength and complexity of these involutionary and evolutionary forces, fascinates me. Where others joined peace movements, my intuitive response has been to study myself so that I might bring my inner house in order and learn the skills to support others through the same process.

It has not been an easy journey as I soon realized that even the most wounded parts of me did not give up their domain easily.  Unresolved identities and primitive impulses are always there, hiding behind the thin mask of our well construed and sophisticated social facades.

The turning point in my journey came when I started to embrace these inner battles. I started to engage playfully with this game of opposites.  In my mind’s eye, I transformed the critical, judgmental, loving, sensitive and spiritual parts of me into caricatures.  The rebellious, angry strong and outrageous parts of me all conjured up their unique personas.  The primitive, happy, frivolous and indulgent parts were not left out either, and I remained open to new aspects that were as yet unnamed.  Over time I started feeling more stable as I became ever more creative in reconciling the inner squabbles and inner battles of my psyche.

It was only then that I paused to reflect.  Which part of me was doing the reconciling?

If such conflicting elements are a part of our human nature, they must serve a greater purpose.  In nature there is no design without intelligence, so even our inherently conflict inner nature must serve in some way.

For me, the awareness of the many inner aspects and the full experience of the force of this inner battle strengthened my connection with the part that was directing and witnessing the struggles.  This aspect is commonly known as the Observer but in my more playful mind’s eye I called it the Inner Mediator.

As a caricature, my Inner Mediator resembles a serious judge with three hands.  In each hand, he holds an item. The first is a sharp sword for protection, the second a fairy wand that can inspire and the last is a pen that records my experiences.  Over time, this the identity of this Inner Mediator caricature has been changing, but the events that triggered this process I will share at another time.

One Comment

  1. 5-17-2018

    This is profound work…..profound intimacy with our inner form….

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